Heal me, O Lord, & I shall be healed
Save me & I shall be saved
For YOU are my praise.
~ Jeremiah 74:14
We all have something wrong with us.
I know, that may sound a little harsh, but hey, it’s true! We all have some way in which we need to be healed. Whether it’s a physical disease or ailment, a relationship that needs healing, or something from the past that has caused emotional or mental stress, we all need some sort of resolution or peace in our lives. I’m sure something has already come to mind for you that you’d love God’s healing hand to touch.
One of the great things about God is that He is absolutely RELIABLE. His very Name is Rock. He is constant, never-changing, & always True. Our God speaks one word & moves a mountain from here to there. You better believe that if you want to be healed, He will do it, & you will not have to ask Him twice.
I love that I can count on my God’s Word to always be true. I love that He is loyal. Once He makes His mind up about something, it will not change. If He decided to save me once, on the cross, than I know I can count on Him to continue to save me over & over again. I wish I didn’t need Him to; I wish I could just be perfect & get everything right the first time. But alas, I am imperfect, I am sinful, & I need His healing continually in my life, & so do you.
In these 12 years as a follower of Christ, I’ve definitely experienced His healing several times. But most recently, I experienced it coming out of a very dark & lonely place. I was hurting. I was lost. I was trying to fix every imperfection in my life on my own & thought I had the answers. I thought I was honoring God In my service to Him & in my personal time spent with Him. But I was struggling. For years I questioned every move He was making in my life. My heart became untrusting towards Him & I stopped being obedient when His answer wasn’t what I wanted it to be. I lived in fear, & because of that, I fought hard to stay comfortable, & eventually God knocked every wall down that I tried to hide behind. In my brokenness, I realized that I needed healing that only HE could provide.
It was in those moments that I had to accept God’s healing, & one thing I learned through that very hard & painful process, is that His healing is something that is always offered to us — we simply have to choose to embrace it. I had finally come to the end of trying to fix things myself & made the choice to turn it all over to Him. He is the One who knows everything about me.. the One who died on the cross even then knowing all the mistakes I will ever make.. the One who has all the answers & knows exactly what I need. He is my Provider.. my Redeemer.. my Healer.
Looking back on that part of my life now, it almost seems like a movie, but a very real one with emotions & memories attached. But I can surely tell you, the girl who made all of those decisions before is not the same one who inhabits this body. The girl sitting here writing these words is not the same one who broke God’s heart. That was a different girl — a girl caught in the darkness.. a girl who was lost, lonely, & seriously doubting her First Love. But this girl now, the one writing all of this, she is REAL. She was broken & bruised, but she is redeemed, she is loved, & has a calling upon her life. She lives & breathes & cries & smiles. She raises her hands to the Lord as she sings & she writes prayers of hope in the secret places. This girl is me. I feel alone sometimes but I am never lonely. I know that He is always with me. I have doubts, but I don’t hide them anymore — I confront them. I ask questions & seek answers. I embrace my imperfections & strive to learn from them. I love my quirks, I don’t hide them. I have learned to cry, to scream, to laugh aloud, & to just be free in Christ because I see His fingerprints all over me, all over my life, & all over everyone else around me.
And this is what it means to be undefined. To simply be. To look to Jesus to heal. To look to Him as a reason for singing, for praise. For He is not just worthy of it, but He IS our praise. Becoming undefined is all about releasing every sense of self to Jesus. It’s about focusing less on who I am or who I am not, & focusing more on who He is. The Healer of my soul. The One who Saves. & He will continue to be these things forever & always. He heals us. He saves us. & in doing so, He becomes our praise.